How to Confess in the Catholic Way

Prepare for a meaningful Sacrament of Reconciliation with our step-by-step Catholic confession guide.

Order of Confession (Step-by-Step)

0. The Pre-requisite

• Invoke the Holy Spirit: Begin by asking for the grace of self-awareness and true contrition (sincere sorrow). You aren’t just looking for mistakes; you are asking God to show you where you have stepped away from His love.
• Review Your Actions (The List): Use the Ten Commandments, the Beatitudes, or the Precepts of the Church to help remember specific sins. While you can write a physical list to help your memory in the confessional, focus on the gravity and frequency of the actions.
• Distinguish Between Mortal and Venial: Reflect on whether the sin involved “grave matter,” full knowledge of its wrongness, and complete consent of the will. This helps you prioritize what needs the most healing.
• Reflect on Psalm 51: Use this prayer to set your internal tone. It transitions the mind from a “list of wrongs” to a relational desire for a clean heart and holiness.
• Foster True Repentance: The goal of the examination isn’t shame, but a “broken and contrite heart” (Psalm 51:17). This involves a firm resolution to avoid these sins in the future and to make amends where possible.

A Simple Prayer to Holy Spirit

“Come, Holy Spirit, into my soul. Show me my sins, both the ones I remember and the ones I have forgotten. Give me the grace to be sorry for them, the courage to confess them, and the strength to amend my life. Amen.”

1. The Beginning

Go into the confessional, kneel, and begin by making the Sign of the Cross: “In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.” Then say: “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.”

2. Inform the Priest of Your Circumstances

Inform the priest when your last confession was (e.g., a month ago or a year ago). Sharing your current life situation helps the priest provide appropriate counsel.

• Age: “I am … years old.”
• Marital Status: “I am married/unmarried.”
• Vocation/Occupation: “I am a student,” “I am employed,” or “I am a homemaker.”

3. Confess Your Sins

Clearly state each sin you remember to the priest. Do not hide any significant (mortal) sins. Conclude by saying: “I confess these sins and all the sins I cannot remember before God.”

4. Receive Advice

Listen carefully to the priest’s counsel. Make sure you understand the Penance (prayers or actions) he assigns to you.

5. Act of Contrition

When the priest asks, pray the Act of Contrition with devotion.

6. Absolution

The priest will pray the prayer of absolution and bless you. Make the Sign of the Cross at this time.

• Priest: “I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.”
• You: “Amen.”

7. After Confession

• Spend some time in the church after leaving the confessional.
• Complete the assigned Penance immediately.
• Thank God for the forgiveness you have received.

Prayer Before Confession

O most merciful God! Prostrate at your feet, I implore your forgiveness. I sincerely desire to leave all my evil ways and to confess my sins with all sincerity to you and to your priest. I am a sinner, have mercy on me, O Lord. Give me a lively faith and a firm hope in the Passion of my Redeemer. Give me, for your mercy´s sake a sorrow for having offended so good a God. Mary, my mother, refuge of sinners, pray for me that I may make a good confession. Amen.

Act of Contrition

O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended You, and I detest all my sins because of Your just punishments, but most of all because they offend You, my God, who is all good and deserving of all my love.

I firmly resolve with the help of Your grace to sin no more and to avoid the near occasion of sin. Amen.

Penitential Act

I confess to almighty God,
and to you, my brothers and sisters,
that I have greatly sinned
through my thoughts and in my words,
in what I have done, and in what I have
failed to do;
through my fault, through my fault,
through my most grievous fault;
therefore I ask blessed Mary ever-Virgin,
all the Angels and Saints,
and you, my brothers and sister,
to pray for me to the Lord our God.

The Ten Commandments

1. I am the Lord thy God. Thou shall not have strange gods before Me.
2. Thou shall not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain.
3. Remember to keep holy the Lord’s day.
4. Honor thy father and mother.
5. Thou shall not kill.
6. Thou shall not commit adultery.
7. Thou shall not steal.
8. Thou shall not bear false witness against thy neighbor.
9. Thou shall not covet thy neighbor’s wife.
10. Thou shall not covet thy neighbor’s goods.

The five precepts of the Catholic Church

1. Attend Mass on Sundays and days of obligation
2. Confess your sins at least once a year
3. Receive the Eucharist at least once a year
4. Observe days of fasting and abstinence
5. Provide for the needs of the Church

The seven deadly sins

1. Pride – An excessive belief in one’s own abilities or worth that interferes with recognizing God.
2. Greed – An immoderate desire for earthly possessions or material wealth.
3. Lust – An intense, uncontrolled desire of a sexual nature that devalues others as objects.
4. Envy – Resenting another person’s good fortune or qualities and wishing they lacked them.
5. Gluttony – Overindulgence or overconsumption of food, drink, or wealth to the point of waste.
6. Wrath – Uncontrolled feelings of anger, rage, or a desire for violent revenge.
7. Sloth – Spiritual or physical laziness; a failure to do what one should or to love God.

The seven heavenly virtues

1. Humility – Recognizing one’s true self in relation to God and others, avoiding arrogance.
2. Charity – A sacrificial love and willingness to give of oneself and one’s resources to others.
3. Chastity – The integration of sexuality within a person, practiced according to one’s state in life.
4. Kindness – Wishing well for others and acting with genuine brotherly love and compassion.
5. Temperance – Practicing self-control and moderation in all things to maintain balance.
6. Patience – Enduring hardship or provocation with a calm spirit and showing mercy.
7. Diligence – Persistent effort and carefulness in one’s work and spiritual duties.

Examination of Conscience

1. I am the Lord your God; you shall not have strange gods before me.

• Have I engaged in occult practices, witchcraft, horoscopes, or omens?
• Have I worn amulets, charms, or tied “blessed” threads for protection?
• Have I consulted sorcerers, fortune-tellers, or practitioners of other religions for spiritual healing?
• Have I buried items related to black magic or “locked” property boundaries?
• Have I participated in idolatry, used temple offerings (ash, flowers, prasad), or practiced palmistry and astrology?
• Have I believed in superstitions (e.g., black cats crossing paths, lizard omens, “lucky” feet)?
• Have I relied on visions or false prophets instead of God?
• Have I given saints more importance than God or spoken disrespectfully of them?
• Have I sought human approval over God’s approval?
• Have I lacked faith in God or the Sacraments?
• Am I prideful, selfish, or obsessed with status, wealth, or luxury?
• Am I addicted to food, movies, alcohol, drugs, gambling, or smoking?
• Have I failed to thank God for His blessings?

2. You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain.

• Do I have a habit of swearing oaths frequently?
• Have I cursed God or committed perjury (lying under oath)?
• Have I failed to fulfill my vows/promises to God?
• Have I spoken irreverently about God, saints, or holy objects?
• Have I been ashamed to witness to Jesus Christ before others?
• Have I associated with those who twist the Word of God or attended their prayer meetings?
• Have I neglected to read and study the Holy Bible daily?

3. Remember to keep holy the Lord’s Day.

• Have I deliberately missed Mass on Sundays or Holy Days of Obligation?
• Have I behaved or dressed inappropriately during Mass?
• Have I done unnecessary manual labor on Sundays or prevented others from observing the Sabbath?
• Have I received Holy Communion in a state of mortal sin?
• Have I neglected family prayer or personal prayer?
• Have I failed to do my annual confession or Easter duty?
• Have I ignored the laws of fasting and abstinence (e.g., eating meat on forbidden Fridays)?
• Have I participated in or encouraged civil-only (register) marriages outside the Church?
• Have I failed to contribute my tithe or support to the Church?

4. Honor your father and your mother.

• Have I been disrespectful, unloving, or hurtful to my parents?
• Have I neglected to care for them in their sickness or old age?
• Have I been disobedient to superiors or teachers?
• Have I physically or verbally abused my spouse?
• Have I been unfaithful, suspicious, or neglectful of my spouse’s needs?
• Have I treated my children with excessive harshness or failed in my duties toward them?
• Have I cheated on taxes or disobeyed just government laws?

5. You shall not kill.

• Have I harbored hatred, anger, or a desire for revenge?
• Have I damaged someone’s reputation or character?
• Have I committed, encouraged, or assisted in an abortion?
• Have I attempted suicide or encouraged someone else to do so?
• Have I harmed my health through substance abuse or extreme habits?
• Have I destroyed public property or mocked/deceived others?
• Have I driven under the influence, risking lives?
• Have you hated, hurt, or harbored enmity toward others?
• Have you tarnished the good reputation of others? Have you committed character assassination? Have you caused a marriage to be broken/cancelled?
• Have you performed an abortion? Have you prepared for or decided to perform an abortion?
• Have you cooperated in an abortion?
• Have you incited/encouraged an abortion?
• Have you failed to make reparation after an abortion?
• Have you attempted suicide?
• Have you given provocation/incitement for suicide?
• Have you been the cause of anyone’s death?
• Have you shown partiality/bias?
• Is there envy?
• Are you living in estrangement (refusing to reconcile)?
• Do you have a short temper?
• Do you have the habit of speaking obscene words?
• Do you have anyone to forgive?
• Have you harmed the health of the body through alcohol consumption, smoking, drugs, excessive work, excessive lack of sleep, or excessive eating habits? (Prov 23:29-35)
• Have you destroyed public property?
• Have you turned away from a brother/sister who deserves help?
• Have you taken revenge?
• Have you taken pleasure in mocking others, or have you harmed or deceived them? Have you prompted others to sin?
• Have you caused injury to anyone’s life or health by driving a vehicle while intoxicated?

6. You shall not commit adultery

• The dignity of man is what prompted God to give the 6th commandment.
• The human body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. (1 Cor 6:19)
• For those who live according to fleshly tendencies, it is not possible to please God. (Rom 8:8)
• Fleshly desires lead to death. (Rom 8:6)
• Run away from adultery; all other sins that man commits are outside the body. But he who commits adultery sins against his own body. (1 Cor 6:18)
• Have I looked at others with lust?
• Have I engaged in masturbation, homosexual acts, or viewed pornography?
• Have I been a cause of sin for others through my speech, look, or immodest dress?
• Have I committed adultery or had sexual relations outside of marriage?
• Have I used artificial contraception or undergone sterilization?
• Have I abused children or used others for sexual gratification?
• Have I indulged in impure thoughts or listened to obscene music/conversations?
• Have you entertained lustful thoughts? Have you rejoiced remembering old sexual sins?
• Have you done voyeurism (peeping) or eavesdropping?
• Have you committed bestiality?

7. You shall not steal

• Have I stolen money or goods, used false weights, or charged unfair interest?
• Have I accepted bribes, cheated in exams, or wasted time/money?
• Have I failed to pay fair wages to employees?
• Have I occupied someone else’s land or damaged their property?
• Have I been greedy or refused to share resources like water or electricity with those in need?
• Have I failed to return borrowed items or lost-and-found property?
• Have I neglected my professional responsibilities?

8. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.

• Have I lied, gossiped, or spread rumors?
• Have I given false testimony in court or to authorities?
• Have I betrayed secrets or acted with hypocrisy?
• Have I written anonymous letters to hurt others?
• Have I failed to admit the truth when necessary?

9. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife.

• Have you looked at a woman (man) with lust?
• Have you destroyed the purity of the body through sexual perversions like masturbation, homosexuality, or images and books that arouse emotions? (1 Cor 6:9-20)
• Have you caused someone’s emotions to be aroused through look, speech, action, or gesture?
• Did you fail to praise and give thanks, remembering that emotions are God’s gift? Did you show carelessness in controlling emotions? (Sirach 23:16, 9:19; Prov 7:10-27, 25:28)
• Have you been a cause of sin to others through speech, look, touch, letter, or behavior? Have you given a bad example? (Matt 5:27-30, 18:6-9; 1 Cor 8:12-13)
• Have you committed rape?
• Have you used brothers/sisters for sexual satisfaction for any reason? (1 Cor 6:12-20)
• Have you abused children?
• Have you failed to keep your body clean, which is the temple of the Holy Spirit?
• Did you fail to be diligent in growing in holiness? (1 Peter 1:15,16)
• With the eyes – have you sinned through individuals, books, posters, movies, or looks? Have you given offense (stumbling block) to others?
• With the ears – have you listened to obscene conversation or obscene music?
• Have you committed adultery before or after marriage?
• Have you practiced artificial family planning or sterilization?
• Have you grieved over not getting the desired life partner or a life partner suited to your mind?
• Have you desired or tried to possess another’s wife (husband), or been involved in love affairs, helping in love affairs, or illicit relationships?
• Have you tortured the body through excessive sorrow, anxiety, fear, intentionally not eating food, or not protecting health? (Sirach 30:21-25; 37:30-31)
• Have you engaged in sexual intercourse while intoxicated?
• Have you performed marital duties while thinking about another man (another woman)?
• Have you destroyed another’s family life?
• Have you practiced immodest dressing?

10. You shall not covet your neighbor’s goods.

• Do you tell lies? Have you created false documents? Have you made accusations?
• Have you acted against the truth?
• Do you reveal secrets? Have you shown hypocrisy?
• Do you spread made-up stories? Have you engaged in gossip?
• Have you altered the records (titles) of parents? Have you cheated?
• Have you shifted the boundary of a property?
• Have you broken promises?
• Have you failed to return what was borrowed? Have you helped in theft?
• Have you kept things that were found (without returning them)?
• Have you failed to maintain punctuality in jobs/works?
• Have you caused destruction of crops or destruction of property?
• Have you shown cruelty toward voiceless animals?
• Have you failed to share water, path, or electricity?
• Have you denied the just rights that siblings/others should receive? Eg: Denying path, drinking water, or electricity. Charging unjust interest. Not giving wages to employees. Shifting boundary stones, unjustly taking possession of properties, giving false witness. Breach of trust, writing anonymous (poison-pen) letters. (Sirach 34:18-22; Prov 11:1, 20:11, 22:22-23; 23:10, 11; James 5:1-6; Ex 21:18-19; 22:1-15; Lev 6:1-7)
• Have you shown greed?
• Do you engage in gluttony (excessive eating)?
• Have you shirked from responsibility? (1 Tim 5:8; Luke 12:41-48)
• Have you failed to accept yourself as you are? Are you a person who engages in self-praise; have you hated or despised yourself, thought that it would be better to die, or thought about suicide? (Isa 43:1-4; 1 Peter 2:9-10; James 4:13-17)